A weird idiosyncracy of mine

Kinja'd!!! "and 100 more" (nth256)
04/14/2016 at 11:16 • Filed to: None

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I can’t help how much I like the shape of this generation of Malibu:

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It’s utter garbage. It started life as Oldsmobile’s last desperate grasp to maintain a foothold in the marketplace by making something that rental companies would buy in bulk... then rebadged as a Chevy Malibu.

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The interior was plastic fantastic... “fantastic” in the sense that somehow it all held together, by some miracle. Rattles everywhere; bad-fitting and misaligned pieces abound; the ultimate expression of “I just showed up to work today because I have to”.

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Speaking of that interior, even though this classified as a mid-size car by EPA standards, is hardly had any more room inside than a same-year Cavalier/Sunfire. Definitely more trunk space, hindered only by those bullshit J-hook hinges. (Aside: why have we not banned those yet?? Fucking horrible!)

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Up to 2003, they all came with either the 2.4l “Iron Duke”, a holdover piece of scrap steel from a forgotten time , or some variation of the Vortec 3.1l V6, that exclusively used Dexcool coolant (the orange stuff), which would eventually eat away the lower intake manifold gasket, which had not been spec’d for Dexcool. It was an engine born with a fucking auto-immune disorder.

EDIT:

The 2.4 wasn’t an Iron Duke. It was a TwinCam, a lower output version of theQuad 4. Iron block, aluminum head. It put out 150/155, vs the replacement 2.2's 144/155.

Thank you for the correction, Nibbles!

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Then, in 2004, when it was literally ONLY being built to accommodate previous orders for fleet vehicles, it was given the 2.2l Ecotec L61 as the only option. Far more refined (and lightweight) than the previous 4-banger option, it wasn’t a screamer, but it was an incredibly reliable engine. Mated to the same ol’ 4-speed slushbox, tho.

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It was such a piece of shit.

But fuck me, man; i still absolutely love how it looks.


DISCUSSION (27)


Kinja'd!!! Nibby > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 11:22

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Got my license in one of these, a 98 Malibu.

I called it the sofa on wheels, pretty comfy car. That was about the only positive. I hated everything else about it.


Kinja'd!!! Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 11:22

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I saw one with a supercharged Buick 3800 Series II shoved in it. That was neat.


Kinja'd!!! MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 11:23

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I still like the Malibu MAXX SS body shape so I understand how weird this feeling is.


Kinja'd!!! for Michigan > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 11:25

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It may be an awful machine, but it was never a bad looking car.

On the outside anyway...


Kinja'd!!! not for canada - australian in disguise > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 11:28

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Wouldn’t mind an Alero coupe. The Malibu is a hunk of junk though, same with the Cutlass that was based on it (That thankfully, Canada never got)

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Say what you will about 90s/Early 2000s GM, but they made some pretty decent looking cars. The midsize coupe needs to make a comeback, only one still on sale is the Mustang Accord Coupe.


Kinja'd!!! FromCanadaWithLove > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 11:30

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My first car was an Impala of the same generation. It was garbage.


Kinja'd!!! and 100 more > for Michigan
04/14/2016 at 11:33

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I have fantisized about buying one that hasn’t been wrecked, completely stripping it down to the bare chassis, and either doing a completely custom interior and making it into an EV conversion, or installing a rollcage and adding a more modern turbo’d Ecotec drivetrain and turning it into the world’s most unlikely track car.


Kinja'd!!! and 100 more > FromCanadaWithLove
04/14/2016 at 11:35

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I’ll posit that everything from GM of that era that wasn’t a truck or a high-dollar model, was garbage.


Kinja'd!!! and 100 more > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
04/14/2016 at 11:37

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I could never get onboard with the MAXX, but I do love the sedan of that era. Its so dorky looking... I love it tho. Except for the front; even after the facelift, it never looked quite right. I still look at them in traffic and wonder, “How would you go about making that look better?”


Kinja'd!!! and 100 more > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
04/14/2016 at 11:39

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No way! I know a few people who swapped in the 3.4l, but never the 3.8l. I can imagine that there were so many rattles.


Kinja'd!!! Nibbles > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 11:42

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The 2.4 wasn’t an Iron Duke. It was a TwinCam , a lower output version of the Quad 4 . Iron block, aluminum head. It put out 150/155, vs the replacement 2.2's 144/155.


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 11:44

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Definitely more trunk space, hindered only by those bullshit J-hook hinges. (Aside: why have we not banned those yet?? Fucking horrible!)

If you think that’s bad... My girlfriend’s mom’s 2015 BMW 535d STILL HAS THE DAMNED THINGS . Mind you, they’re enclosed and have some delicate open/close mechanism attached to them, but they still have them.

The cheapest/shittiest car I ever owned at least had gas struts on the trunk lid...


Kinja'd!!! and 100 more > Nibby
04/14/2016 at 11:44

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I had a 2004... technically, it wasn’t even a Malibu anymore - it became the Chevy Classic. But yeah, it was comfy enough as a commuter car, but the interior was made of injection-molded despair and dead dreams.

I took my oldest son home from the hospital in mine. Moved the family up to Washington in it. Eventually donated it because it decided one day that it didn’t want to start anymore. I chased down every problem i could think of. Turns out, the electrical connection on top of the fuel tank wasn’t waterproofed from the factory, so the connection corroded, and the pump wouldn’t start. But i had already donated it before I figured that out.


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 11:46

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That Ecotec engine is almost impossible to kill, but that transmission is a piece of garbage that is difficult to service. Basically, you drive these cars until the transmission dies, then replace it (the car or transmission, whichever you prefer).

The fact GM still sold a car with the Malibu name after this abomination is absolutely mind-boggling.


Kinja'd!!! and 100 more > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/14/2016 at 11:46

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Yeah, i’ve had a couple rentals that still have the J-hooks, but there’s a plastic shroud that they go into, so that you know exactly how much trunk space your going to lose when you close the lid, rather than it being a surprise.


Kinja'd!!! and 100 more > Nibbles
04/14/2016 at 11:47

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Ah, right you are! Thank you!


Kinja'd!!! and 100 more > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/14/2016 at 11:52

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Agreed in the Ecotec. I really enjoyed that engine. It wasn’t super powerful, but it was definitely well-built. I sincerely wish that the Malibus had come with a manual transmission.

To be fair, the Malibus that came after got much better.

The current-gen Malibu is ugly as shit, tho. How can it look that bad, yet the current-gen Impala looks so damn good? Are these not made by the same design teams?


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 11:55

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I’d go so far as to say that everything from GM that wasn’t a truck/SUV or Corvette starting sometime in the early 1970s through sometime in the 2010s was garbage. There were exceptions (shitty Corvettes and Buick LeSabres), but it was an overall theme...


Kinja'd!!! Gone > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 11:56

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We have the chrome mustache ‘04 Bu. I do the same about the looks. I think the ‘06 refresh looks good and cleaner, but 242k miles and I ain’t complaining.


Kinja'd!!! MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 12:05

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It’s just boxy and weird and I love it

I’d probably never own one it would be a poor choice but its just....different.


Kinja'd!!! and 100 more > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/14/2016 at 12:19

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Haha! I like the idea that it was a “theme”...

Okay guys, how can we take this design, and make it suck more?


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 12:32

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I always felt like some sneaky people developed the LeSabre without the rest of GM knowing they were doing it.


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > and 100 more
04/14/2016 at 12:38

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I can’t figure out how they save enough money on them to justify their use over gas struts. The struts are so much better in every way that you’d think manufacturers would give up on those stupid arms and torsion springs. But no, it’s 2016 and people still make cars with them like it was 1930.


Kinja'd!!! Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > Eric @ opposite-lock.com
04/14/2016 at 15:21

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To play devil’s advocate, I’ve heard anecdotal evidence that gas struts are more failure-prone. I’ve never been around a sedan long enough to witness any kind of trunk hinge failure, though.


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Svart Smart, traded in his Smart
04/14/2016 at 17:08

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I’ve only encountered one set that failed thus far, and it was on an early-90s hatchback that sat in AZ heat for years (drying out the seals). Modern cars don’t put them in the greenhouse and I’ve never seen a gas strut fail on a sedan trunk or any hood...


Kinja'd!!! Josh Mason > and 100 more
09/27/2016 at 00:11

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It looks a little like a chibi Impala of the same gen in a way, at least from the sides and front.


Kinja'd!!! Josh Mason > Josh Mason
09/27/2016 at 23:54

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Er, of the same era, 5th-gen Malibu has a couple 8th-gen Impala-inspired cues in there, grille especially, but the sides a little bit too.